We all have a voice in the back of our head that tells us what we can and cannot do. It’s the voice of reason, of experience, of self-preservation. But what if that voice is wrong? What if it’s not protecting us, but holding us back? I recently had an experience at the gym that made me question everything I thought I knew about my own limits.
Same 110kg weight, but this time awareness held me back to two presses.
It was a Tuesday, and I was at the bench press. The day before, I had a solid session and felt strong. Based on that, I planned to do 4 reps with 100kg (220lbs). For those who don't speak gym-talk, that's the Olympic 20kg bar with two 20kg (45lbs) plates on each side. Or so I thought. I loaded the bar, got myself in position, and pushed through the 4 reps. It was tough, but I did it.
It was only after I had re-racked the weight that I took a closer look at the plates. I hadn't loaded two 20kg plates. I had mistakenly put on a 20kg and a 25kg plate on each side. That's a total of 110kg. A full 10kg more than I thought I was lifting, and a weight I would have only attempted for 2 reps on a good day.
The next day, I went back to the gym with a new sense of confidence. I loaded up 110kg again, this time intentionally. But something was different. I knew the weight. I was conscious of the number. And I could only manage 3 reps.
So, what happened? The only thing that changed was my mindset. When I thought I was lifting 100kg, my body was capable of lifting 110kg. But when I knew I was lifting 110kg, my mind put up a block. It was a subconscious fear, a mental barrier that kept me from reaching my true potential.
Something like this has happened to me several times, so it is not just an isolated instance.
This experience was a powerful reminder that our minds are often the heaviest thing we have to lift. We create our own limitations, our own "glass ceilings." But what if we could trick our minds into letting us be stronger, more capable, more than we think we are?
This isn't just about the gym. It's about every aspect of our lives. The job we don't apply for because we think we're not qualified. The project we don't start because we're afraid to fail. The conversation we don't have because we're scared of the outcome. That hot girl at the gym we are afraid to talk to.
My challenge to you, and to myself, is this: The next time you think you've reached your limit, push a little harder. The next time your mind tells you "no," ask "why not?" You might be surprised at what you're capable of. You might just find that you can lift 10kg more than you ever thought possible.
Lifting With Your Eyes Open
I have to admit, my experience at the gym was an ideal scenario. It was a "perfect storm" where I was completely unaware of the real weight on the bar. I was blind to the challenge, so my mind didn't even have a chance to object.
But in real life, we rarely have that luxury. We are not blind to our surroundings. Our traumas and deep-seated beliefs are triggered by the very circumstances we face. You can't apply for a dream job without knowing it's a dream job, a position that feels bigger than you are. The intimidatingly attractive person at the coffee shop isn't usually wearing pajamas with a face full of acne. We see the challenge for exactly what it is, and that’s when the voice of self-doubt shouts the loudest.
So, how do we lift the "heavy weight" when our eyes are wide open? How do we overcome these obstacles when we can't trick ourselves?
While we can't erase our awareness, we can change our relationship with it. Here are a few strategies:
Deconstruct the Challenge: The idea of "getting my dream job" is terrifying. But the task of "updating my resume today" is manageable. "Asking that person out" is high-stakes. "Making eye contact and smiling" is a small, achievable step. Break down the monumental into the microscopic. Focus on winning the small, immediate battles.
Reframe the Narrative: Instead of thinking, "I'm not qualified," try, "I have a unique set of skills, and this is an opportunity to learn the rest." Instead of, "They will definitely reject me," shift to, "Whether they say yes or no, I will be proud of myself for having the courage to try." You control the story you tell yourself.
Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome: We get paralyzed by our fear of the outcome (rejection, failure). Detach your effort from the result. Your goal isn't to get the job; it's to submit the absolute best application you can. Your goal isn't to get a date; it's to be brave for 30 seconds. Celebrate the action, not the reward. This puts the power back in your hands.
Practice Strategic Ignorance: While you can't be totally blind, you can choose what to focus on. Don't spend hours dwelling on the LinkedIn profiles of other potential applicants. Don't fixate on all the reasons something might not work out. Acknowledge the reality of the challenge, create your plan of action, and then ruthlessly focus your mental energy only on the next step in front of you.
Hypnosis: Rewiring the Inner Voice
One tool that may help quiet that voice of doubt is hypnosis. I haven’t personally tried it, so I can’t speak from experience, but research does suggest it can be effective for reshaping limiting beliefs. At the very least, it’s a low-risk practice that some people find valuable. Unlike the stage-show version where someone clucks like a chicken, real hypnosis is about gently guiding the subconscious mind to adopt more empowering beliefs. One day, I might give it a try.
Think about my 110kg bench press. My body had already proven it could move the weight - but the belief “this is too heavy” tripped me up when I became aware of it. Hypnosis works by slipping past that conscious resistance and speaking directly to the deeper patterns underneath. It doesn’t make you stronger overnight, but it can remove the hidden brakes you’re pressing without realizing it.
Just like visualization or meditation, hypnosis is a tool to reshape how we relate to challenges. For some, it helps reframe fear into calm focus, or transforms “I can’t” into “I can try.” Used alongside deliberate practice and the strategies above, it can be a powerful way to lift - both in the gym and in life - with your eyes open.
We may not be able to li(ve)ft in blissful ignorance, but we can choose to li(ve)ft with courage and intention. And in the real world, that’s even more powerful.
Hhhh, you didn't tell me that